Blog | Refuse to Drown

Refuse To Drown

A Father's Unthinkable Choice

Manheim Township, PA, was rocked by a seemingly random triple-homicide during the summer of 2007. There were no witnesses, very few leads and no solid suspects. As days turned into weeks and the crime remained unsolved, the small-town neighborhood was filled with sadness, questions, and a growing sense of fear. One month after the murders, Tim Kreider’s son Alec was committed to a mental health hospital. One of Alec’s best friends had been one of the murder victims, and Tim feared that the loss had pushed his long-troubled son over the edge. Tim didn’t realize that his world was about to come crashing down around him. Refuse to Drown is the true story of a father’s despair and the type of perseverance that can lead to hope and healing.

Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (December 21, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1494207184
ISBN-13: 978-1494207182
Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.4 inches

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Take a Sneak Peak at the Book

"On a chilly Friday night in mid-May, I walked upstairs and got ready for bed. The house felt quiet. My three children were over at their mother’s house and my fiancé Lynn had just gone home. My dog, a boxer named Knock Out, stretched and then crept behind me up the stairs like a shadow. In the midst of that quiet, my mind moved restlessly from here to there: work was hectic as usual, Lynn and I were planning our August wedding, and my teenage kids, with their sports and activities and jobs, had me hustling just to keep up. "
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About The Author

Tim Kreider

Tim Kreider is passionate about helping people find healing and wholeness. He shares his story at churches, businesses, youth groups and other gatherings, and he started a non-profit organization called Also-Me that encourages people not to live life alone. He lives in Womelsdorf, PA with his wife Lynn.

Tim is available and does speaking engagements for youth groups, churches, schools and businesses. If you’re interested in having Tim speak at your organization or event please contact us.

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Read some of the book reviews

It's a life lesson in faith and perseverance: a must read for everyone who faces challenges in their lives, big or small. – Matthew Roda

I appreciated Tim's honesty and humble raw admittance to the feelings of responsibility. I felt as I read this book I had a friend that understood my heart and my anguish in parenting such a child and all the ways in which I asked myself all the same questions Tim shared in his book.
- Heidi Zerbe
The way the story was told seemed an invitation to walk as a silent, close witness to the days before, during and after an unimaginable event. It was as though Tim invited me to be the fly on his walls, the ones that were closing in on him during a dark time.
- Curtis Miller

This book is so well written that it was hard to put it down. You feel like you are going through everything that this father went through. The sorrow, the guilt, but then the triumph that pulled him through.
- MaryEllen Heffelfinger
A very interesting reflection of unfathomable difficulty. The message of Faith and God is clear. It was not easy to put down. I highly recommend it.
- Jane

We all take away different things from a book depending where we our in our life stages. For me it was...wanting to hug our teenage Son a little longer, listen a lot closer to what I often brush aside as trivial teenage angst
- Dee
The way the story was told seemed an invitation to walk as a silent, close witness to the days before, during and after an unimaginable event. It was as though Tim invited me to be the fly on his walls, the ones that were closing in on him during a dark time.
- Curtis Miller

I appreciated Tim's honesty and humble raw admittance to the feelings of responsibility. I felt as I read this book I had a friend that understood my heart and my anguish in parenting such a child and all the ways in which I asked myself all the same questions Tim shared in his book.
- Heidi Zerbe
From the time I started this book, I didn't want to put it down. It's a very emotional read. I can't begin to imagine what life was like for everyone involved. It had to have taken a lot of courage to share this journey.
- Melissa

From the time I started this book, I didn't want to put it down. It's a very emotional read. I can't begin to imagine what life was like for everyone involved. It had to have taken a lot of courage to share this journey.
- Melissa
You can't help but ache for him, but his resilience can bring all us all hope. May his words save someone else from this heart ache! Well worth the read. Kuddos to Tim you are a man of strength and integrity!!
- Remi

As a father, husband and local youth athletic coach interacting with many local teens and adolescents, this book was a real eye-opener to the many warning signs to look for when a young adult is having emotional or mental struggles. This is a must read book for every parent as well as any young adult who feels like they are alone in life.
- Chad Neiss
Tim Kreider shares an intimate and captivating description of a parent's greatest fear. This is a read for anyone who wonders why bad things happen to good people. While there is no definitive answer to this question, hope and strength are offered.
- Casey

A vision birthed in tragedy, of giving hope to sons and daughters who are alone and more than a bit lost, gives testament to the radical grace of God. Vulnerable, raw, and defiantly hopeful, a story for His glory.
- Dustin Gingrich
What Tim was faced with was unimaginable for just about anyone; his ability to forgive both himself and others and to let go of the past, ultimately gave him the strength to weather the storm and lift himself up to a place of emotional, mental and physical happiness.
- CN

The way the story was told seemed an invitation to walk as a silent, close witness to the days before, during and after an unimaginable event. It was as though Tim invited me to be the fly on his walls, the ones that were closing in on him during a dark time.
- Curtis Miller
What Tim was faced with was unimaginable for just about anyone; his ability to forgive both himself and others and to let go of the past, ultimately gave him the strength to weather the storm and lift himself up to a place of emotional, mental and physical happiness.
- CN

So often we hear the victim's side of a crime, and rightly so. But I found Kreider's account of his son's actions to be compelling and powerful, a good reminder that even in the most horrible of situations there is more than one story.
- Andi Cumbo
I found Refuse To Drown to be a compelling, riveting story. It's a wonderful testimonial to the power of faith—illustrating that, as dark as the night gets, the sun will rise again in the morning.
- Jeff Gernsheimer

Tim Kreider shares an intimate and captivating description of a parent's greatest fear. This is a read for anyone who wonders why bad things happen to good people. While there is no definitive answer to this question, hope and strength are offered.
- Casey
A vision birthed in tragedy, of giving hope to sons and daughters who are alone and more than a bit lost, gives testament to the radical grace of God. Vulnerable, raw, and defiantly hopeful, a story for His glory.
- Dustin Gingrich

The way the story was told seemed an invitation to walk as a silent, close witness to the days before, during and after an unimaginable event. It was as though Tim invited me to be the fly on his walls, the ones that were closing in on him during a dark time.
- Curtis Miller
As a father, husband and local youth athletic coach interacting with many local teens and adolescents, this book was a real eye-opener to the many warning signs to look for when a young adult is having emotional or mental struggles. This is a must read book for every parent as well as any young adult who feels like they are alone in life.
- Chad Neiss

I appreciated Tim's honesty and humble raw admittance to the feelings of responsibility. I felt as I read this book I had a friend that understood my heart and my anguish in parenting such a child and all the ways in which I asked myself all the same questions Tim shared in his book.
- Heidi Zerbe
His acceptance, his resolve and his ability to persevere is inspirational. His willingness to share his story is gracious. This is an easy read that will stay with you long after you finish the book.
- Robert D. Beyer

I found Refuse To Drown to be a compelling, riveting story. It's a wonderful testimonial to the power of faith—illustrating that, as dark as the night gets, the sun will rise again in the morning.
- Jeff Gernsheimer
I appreciated Tim's honesty and humble raw admittance to the feelings of responsibility. I felt as I read this book I had a friend that understood my heart and my anguish in parenting such a child and all the ways in which I asked myself all the same questions Tim shared in his book.
- Heidi Zerbe

What Tim was faced with was unimaginable for just about anyone; his ability to forgive both himself and others and to let go of the past, ultimately gave him the strength to weather the storm and lift himself up to a place of emotional, mental and physical happiness.
- CN
As a father, husband and local youth athletic coach interacting with many local teens and adolescents, this book was a real eye-opener to the many warning signs to look for when a young adult is having emotional or mental struggles. This is a must read book for every parent as well as any young adult who feels like they are alone in life.
- Chad Neiss

The pain, disappointment and heart ache he experienced was almost too much for a father to endure. I would highly recommend this book to any one who needs a positive perspective on their challenges. A must read!
- Merrill
Excellent book, well written. My heart goes out to Tim and his family. I highly recommend this book to everyone.
- Ron

The way the story was told seemed an invitation to walk as a silent, close witness to the days before, during and after an unimaginable event. It was as though Tim invited me to be the fly on his walls, the ones that were closing in on him during a dark time.
- Curtis Miller
Tim Kreider shares an intimate and captivating description of a parent's greatest fear. This is a read for anyone who wonders why bad things happen to good people. While there is no definitive answer to this question, hope and strength are offered.
- Casey

The way the story was told seemed an invitation to walk as a silent, close witness to the days before, during and after an unimaginable event. It was as though Tim invited me to be the fly on his walls, the ones that were closing in on him during a dark time.
- Curtis Miller
The pain, disappointment and heart ache he experienced was almost too much for a father to endure. I would highly recommend this book to any one who needs a positive perspective on their challenges. A must read!
- Merrill

Tim's amazing journey through an unthinkable tragedy brought me to tears and filled me with a profound sense of respect for this courageous man.
- Denise
I'm floored by the level of honesty delivered inside the pages and the message of hope it provides. To call Refuse To Drown an inspirational book would be a total understatement.
- Matthew Roda

We all take away different things from a book depending where we our in our life stages. For me it was...wanting to hug our teenage Son a little longer, listen a lot closer to what I often brush aside as trivial teenage angst
- Dee
What Tim was faced with was unimaginable for just about anyone; his ability to forgive both himself and others and to let go of the past, ultimately gave him the strength to weather the storm and lift himself up to a place of emotional, mental and physical happiness.
- CN

His acceptance, his resolve and his ability to persevere is inspirational. His willingness to share his story is gracious. This is an easy read that will stay with you long after you finish the book.
- Robert D. Beyer
Excellent book, well written. My heart goes out to Tim and his family. I highly recommend this book to everyone.
- Ron

Top 3 Reasons This Book Was Written

I wanted to find a thread of something positive in the midst of something horrible, something that will alter your life, or the life of someone you love, for the better.
I wanted to open the door to hope and healing for others.
I wanted to inspire at least one person or family to seek help.